calibrated measuring cuss

pissed.

lately,

i've been crying a lot

finished the period-where-i-can-be-as-bitchy-as-i-can, so i can't blame it on the hormones. why do i feel. bleak is the word i could probably used. is this a stage? a phase maybe? i've had one of those. i feel really tired. like my joints would simply disengage themselves, and i'd be left with my head on the floor wondering what happened. i don't even make sense here.

i've been forgetting a lot of things

smal things. big stuff. events. things i just said.

......

my current patient has Alzheimer's (aside from also having pneumonia, DM, HPN, multiple brain infarction). it's not contagious, but then i wonder.

he's already spent 1 month in the hospital. today. (admitted last January 8)


the doctors wrote this on the physician's order sheet:

"Suggest enrollment to hospice care program."

got this definition from merriam-webster.com:

hospice

One entry found.

Main Entry:

hos·pice

Pronunciation:

\ˈhäs-pəs\

Function:

noun

Etymology:

French, from Old French hospise, from Latin hospitium, from hospit-, hospes host — more at host

Date:

1818

1 : a lodging for travelers, young persons, or the underprivileged especially when maintained by a religious order
2 : a facility or program designed to provide a caring environment for meeting the physical and emotional needs of the terminally ill


this. it. made me sad.

AREN'T WE ALL... TERMINAL?

don't we all have an active and malignant disease that is reasonably expected to result in our death? (see wiki for this matter) Earth is simply a colossal mass grave.
......

we suffer. we all do. when we do, we think we've been hand-picked to endure pain. It's selfish to think that we'd been singled out.

assume.
analyze.
overanalyze.
interpret.